dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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