i already hear my dad disowning me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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