dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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