Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We need a shit load of segways right now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
