Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
