Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
