my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
