do herpes really smell.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
