Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
