Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
