covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
