I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
