Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
