your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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