I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
