She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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