Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
