the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize