I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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