Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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