weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize