This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
