Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
