I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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