Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
