Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
