You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
