Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
