i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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