Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
