Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
