No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
