Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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