Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
