did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
