Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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