It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
