the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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