Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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