you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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