I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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