I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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