Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How does one acquire holy water?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
