no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
