3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
