He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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