i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
