In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
