This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
