This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
