Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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