The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
honey bunches of taint.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
