I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
