so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
