he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
