after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
