And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
