Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you bring me the toilet please
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
