They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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